the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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