the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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