Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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