Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
