I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
