You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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