So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
