you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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