when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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