Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Randomize
