I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
