i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
