She's JV to your varsity
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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