who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
