When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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