talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
