do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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