ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
As shirtless as possible
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
