I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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