I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
