There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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