I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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