I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
