i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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