That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
