I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Quick, to the slutcave!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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