Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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