i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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