It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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