I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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