I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
