So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
