I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
