Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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