great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
