At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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