He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
