i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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