i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
