Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
