At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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