They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
