im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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