when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
