If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
