Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
