WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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