Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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