"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
