By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
